How to live a happy life

“Receptive” implies being open to ideas and suggestions.

It means you are inclined and willing to receive whatever it is that you need at that moment – data, creativity, a new idea, or whatever. It’s the opposite of being closed minded and stubborn.

People who are receptive are willing to have a “beginner’s mind,” the willingness to learn, even if they are considered the expert. Because they are not defensive, these people have sharp learning curves and are almost always the ones who come up with the best ideas. They are fun to work with and are great team players because they think “outside the box” and consider differing points of view.

I know a person who is one of the most receptive individuals I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing. He was a business leader who was willing to listen to everyone – and who would frequently take the advice of his employees. Rather than stubbornly insisting that his answers were always the best, he would take his ego out of the picture. He would reflect on the suggestions given by his employees to determine the best possible course of action.

He told me, “It made my job so much easier. By being genuinely receptive to suggestions and ideas, rather than shutting them off, I had the advantage of hundreds of brilliant minds working together – rather than having to rely on my tiny little mind.”

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.

He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.”

“One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

“The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather – Which wolf wins?

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

However, most of us take this planning far too seriously and engage in futuristic thinking far too often. We sacrifice the actual moments of life in exchange for moments that exist only in our imaginations. An imagined future may or may not come true.

The solution for all of us is identical. Whether you’re dreading tomorrow’s meeting, or next week’s deadline, the trick is to observe your own thoughts caught up in the negative expectations and imagined horrors of the future.

Once you make the connection between your own thoughts and your stressful feelings, you’ll be able to step back and recognize that if you can rein in your thoughts, bringing them back to what you are actually doing – right now – you’ll have far more control over your stress level. 

The scientific community is given credit for bringing the civilization to the modern technological advanced age, conveniently labeling the history as dark ages. There was a rapid development in scientific community in terms of discoveries and inventions which led to Industrial Revolution. This revolution changed the face of the earth as we see it.

This advent of revolution was manifested in the form of consumerism. The factories came up, where thousands of men labored hard to earn their livelihood. These workers, were the farmers who had migrated from the villages. They dream of staying in a city, becoming independent and earning a livelihood by working hard in factories rather than the farms. Due to the desire fostered by the new born culture of greed where in everyone wanted to have more of everything for which they had to struggle and suffer even more in bad living conditions, smoke, grit and equally oppressive industrialists as the feudal lords in the villages. Even though the struggle was there, but the thought of staying in city and ability to consume the products of city made them artificially feel happy. It was something similar to what a thirsty desert animal feels on seeing the reflection of a mirage, which it misunderstands to be real water and gratifies itself thinking that water is nearby when it’s not.

The industrial revolution brought forward the steam engines, whose descendants now we see running with great ease on the metro overhead. Consumer electronics in its crude form took birth in the lap of burning furnaces in the factories. The “Bright Age” had come with the invention and subsequent mass production of bulb. The bulbs evolved to tube lights, neon lights and flood lights which adorn our stadiums. In this glitter of man made lights, the sun got clouded with the smoke that arose from factories. One of the crucial ingredients which contributed to the happenings was extraction of fuel. Petroleum and coal kept the furnaces burning, the production lines moving and the chimneys spewing smoke. The very smoke which filled the lungs of the workers causing them innumerable diseases. We even have a fancy word for the phenomena these days. Its called Occupational hazard.

This went on for 3 centuries in some parts of the world and for decades in some. It was a second coming for human civilization. And finally it reached the zenith of advancement when the soldiers of captain planet proposed to observe an hour of darkness to nullify the effect of centuries and decades of misuse of nature’s resources. In order to save the planet and give it to the future generation as it is, it was proposed by the do-gooders to switch off all lights in the house and enjoy a candle lit dinner with loved ones.

Earth Hour is a global event organized by WWF (World Wide Fund for Nature, also known as World Wildlife Fund) and is held on the last Saturday of March annually, asking households and businesses to turn off their non-essential lights and other electrical appliances for one hour to raise awareness towards the need to take action on climate change. Earth Hour was conceived by WWF and The Sydney Morning Herald in 2007, when 2.2 million residents of Sydney participated by turning off all non-essential lights.

So much hard labor to usher the world into light from dark age to finally being inspired to celebrate the success with an hour of darkness. It is very expertly explained in Srimad Bhagavatam as “…srama eva hi kevalam….” That the occupational duties which man performs to satisfy his selfish whims are just a useless labor. The gratification which is temporary, but requires ages of hard work is rightly labeled as useless labor.

The vedanta sutra aphorism, “tamaso ma jyoir gamaya” advises us to approach light, leaving darkness behind. But in current situation we are being forced back to darkness. That means there is a flaw in our approach to spread light. In the hedonistic approach towards life we have forgotten to pay heed to our spiritual values and morals which have only deteriorated our situation. The very change we thought would advance us has darkened our life and filled it with smoke and pollution. The Vedic approach to solve such problems is perfect. This is due to the fact that Vedas are words Lord Krishna, the Supreme Personality of Godhead. The all perfect Lord Krishna has said in his all perfect conversation of Gita that:

kama esha krodha esha
rajo-guna-samudbhavah
mahashano maha-papma
viddhy enam iha vairinam

“It is lust only, Arjuna, which is born of contact with the material mode of passion and later transformed into wrath, and which is the all-devouring sinful enemy of this world. (BG 3.37)”

When a living entity comes in contact with the material creation, his eternal love for God is transformed into lust, in association with the mode of passion. Or, in other words, the sense of love of God becomes transformed into lust, as milk in contact with sour tamarind is transformed into yogurt. Then again, when lust is unsatisfied, it turns into wrath; wrath is transformed into illusion, and illusion continues the material existence. Therefore, lust is the greatest enemy of the living entity.

The greed therefore to lord it over Lord’s energy without acknowledging his pervasiveness and control has caused great problems. There is never harm in running motors or factories but the objective for doing such an endeavor has to be shifted from our selfish personal desires to the pleasure or love of Krishna. It is common sense that using a thing belonging to other without his permission in a clandestine way is an act of thievery. Whatever we see is nothing but energy of lord in different transformations. The proper way is to use it in his service by being grateful for his wonderful gifts by chanting Hare Krishna maha-mantra: Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare/ Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare. This mantra cleanses the heart of unnecessary propensities like greed, lust and anger. When the heart is cleansed its motivations become pure, as love for the lord as well as his energies awaken. In ISKCON, We use the best of the facility.  We use best of the facilities but in the service of Krishna and accepting in return his gifts for a needful Krishna Conscious life. This process of chanting Hare Krishna is potent enough to keep us in light. It’s said: “Wherever there is Krishna, there is no jurisdiction of darkness.” This light is the illumination of bliss through self enlightenment which is potent to eradicate any darkness in our life. Kindly try it and get in touch with us if it works for you.

Let’s face it. We are human, and to be human means you’re going to make errors, at least some of the time. You’re going to make plenty of mistakes, mess up from time to time, lose your way, forget things, lose your temper, say things you shouldn’t have, and all the rest.

I’ve never understood why this simple fact of life – our tendency to make mistakes – is so surprising or disappointing to people.

To me, one of the saddest mistakes we make is a lack of forgiveness, especially to ourselves. We constantly remind ourselves of our flaws and previous mistakes. We anticipate future mistakes. We’re highly critical of ourselves, frequently disappointed, and ruthless in our self-judgment. We blame ourselves, and often we’re our own worst enemy.

It seems to me that to be unforgiving of yourself is foolish and ridiculous. Most of us are doing the best that we can – really. But we’re not perfect. The truth is, we’re a work-in-progress.

We should learn from our mistakes and from stumbling and keep moving ahead in life.

When you’re willing to ask for what you want but don’t insist on getting it, there are some potential hidden benefits as well. For example, you sometimes bring out the compassion and generosity in others. Several years ago I arrived in Mumbai very late one evening. Despite having a confirmed reservation, the hotel was overbooked and was turning people away. The man in front of me was enraged and became very threatening.

He insisted on getting his way – but there were no rooms. He stormed out, defeated and angry. He was totally insensitive to the fact that it wasn’t the receptionist’s fault. It wasn’t personal.

I walked up to the receptionist and in a gentle voice I said, “I understand your predicament and don’t blame you a bit. I would appreciate it so much if you would help me. I know you don’t have any rooms here, but could you help me find another hotel, close by?” I thought it was wise to ask – as long as I didn’t insist.

She was very nice and apologetic. Remarkably, she said she had some great news. She had completely overlooked that fact that one of the guests had to leave in an emergency and wouldn’t be back. It turned out to be the largest and most expensive suite in the hotel! Because I had been so patient, she gave it to me at lower rate.
   
The question is, why didn’t she remember this empty room and give it to the angry man in front of me? I think the answer is pretty obvious. His insistence pushed her away and may have even contributed to her “forgetfulness.” When I was talking to her, however, she relaxed and felt less pressure. Her memory returned and I ended up getting a few hours of much-needed sleep. So be sure to ask for what you want, but don’t insist on getting it.

Easy is to judge the mistakes of others   
Difficult is to recognize our own mistakes

Easy is to talk without thinking   
Difficult is to refrain the tongue

Easy is to hurt someone
Difficult is to heal the wound…

Easy is to forgive others   
Difficult is to ask for forgiveness

Easy is to set rules   
Difficult is to follow them…

Easy is to show victory
Difficult is to assume defeat with dignity…

Easy is to promise something to someone   
Difficult is to fulfill that promise…

Easy is to criticize others   
Difficult is to improve oneself…

Easy is to make mistakes   
Difficult is to learn from them…

Easy is to think about improving   
Difficult is to stop thinking about it and put it into action…

(6)  Learn to handle criticism.  Let it develop you instead of discourage you.
 
(7)  Keep your shortcomings in perspective – you’re still a work in progress.
 

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.

Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, ‘look towards sky, what you see?’

‘The Lone Ranger replies, ‘I see millions of stars.’

‘What does it convey?’ asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, ‘Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it convey to you Tonto?’

‘You dumber than buffalo, you idiot. It means someone stole the tent!’

Do not miss the reality!

There will be many fights and many quarrels, many disagreements and many tears…..

The easiest thing would be to give up.

But if we instead spend half the energy we use in fighting with each other, to keep the relationship strong, then that is love……

Remember, in a relationship, giving up is not the solution. Disagreements, fights and quarrels will always be there.

But you must always fight harder to stay together.

Some fights are truly worth fighting!